My favorite person asked me to do this. I feel obliged.
1. If you have pets, do you see them as merely animals, or as members of your family?
I don’t have any pets, but I do enjoy when people I know have pets. That makes me the uncle/grandpa figure, which means I get to spoil them then absolve all responsibility when they pee on the floor. BACK TO YOUR PARENTS EVIL CREATURE!
2. If you could see one of your dreams come true, which would it be?
I tend to not remember my dreams, but if I had to choose, it’d be the one where I had to hide from giant AK-47 wielding terrorists inside of the Barbie Dream House. *shrug*
3. What is the one thing that you hate the most?
Religious Extremism. Also, those tiny plastic packets of syrup that make my fingers all sticky when I try to open them.
4. What would you do with a billion dollars?
Purse my lips and raise my right pinky to them.
5. What helps to pull you out of a bad mood?
Time. Also, a certain somebody scratching my head.
6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
According to a recent study, loving someone is equal to 17.38 cubits of blessedness, while being loved by someone left scientists dumbfounded when it was found to be worth 22.41 cubits of blessedness. Further results pending.
7. What is your bedtime routine?
When I was eleven, my mom would knock on my door and say, “Turn off the computer, it’s bedtime,” and I would respond, “Aww, mom! Just a few more minutes,” to which she would reply, “Don’t make me ask you again, young man,” and I said, “Okay, goodnight mom!”
I don’t think I’ve had a “bedtime” since then.
8. If you are currently in a relationship, how did you meet your partner?
It’s a charming tale of pancakes, pie, and burnt Cheez-Its that led to a barefoot stroll around campus, an Arrested Development/Monty Python marathon and a lecture on the London Monster.
9. If you could watch a creative person in the act of the creative process, who would it be?
Hypothetical God creating the hypothetical universe?
10. What kinds of books do you read?
Rectangular ones, generally, but, since Christmas, I’ve thoroughly enjoyed the electronic variety.
12. What’s your biggest fear?
Being knocked unconscious and kidnapped, then waking up in a cold concrete room tied to an uncomfortable chair. A megalomaniac with a memorable physical deformity asks me for an important piece of information and I refuse. He gives the signal, and a henchman, *gulp* smashes my fingernails. *shudder*
13. Would you give up all junk food for the rest of your life for the opportunity to visit outer space?
Define junk food. Also, YES!
14. Would you rather be single and rich or married and poor?
Married and poor. Then I pull myself up by my bootstraps and acquire enough currency and power to seek horrific vengeance on all who stood in my way.
tl;dr – The American Dream.
15. What’s the first thing you do when you wake up?
Open my eyes.
16. If you could change one thing about your spouse/partner what would it be?
17. If you could pick a new name for yourself, what would it be?
Archduke Ludwig van Dragonslayer IV, Master and Commander of a Once Proud Warrior Race. Seriously, what is this question?
18. Can you forgive and forget, no matter how horrible the offense is?
19. If you could only eat one thing for the next 6 months, what would it be?
What happened to number eleven?